Good times are killing me

I'm so very unhappy, right now, at this moment. I hate me, my life, where I am.

is it too much to ask to be happy?

I don't even know why I put in effort, you've already given up and it's like you're just waiting for me to crack.  Testing me, inching me closer to the edge. I am too stubborn to not love you and it's going to be the death of me, you're going to be the death of me. I don't even know who I am anymore.