Control

Everything is in it's right place when I lift my camera to my eye, and everything seemingly composes itself; my settings dialed in by heart; and I snap the shutter. The unpredictable scenery captured on film, and the decisive moment is played back through my mind. 

I have a hard time accepting life is shitty, and living is reason enough to be sad. I've lived my entire life trying to figure out my sadness, why I have that darkness over me. Trying to justify it all. I'm a hopeless romantic. 

No one means it, but they hurt me. They don't know how deep the pit in my soul goes, it's not like I've ever told them. 

This isn't hitting rock bottom, the whole acknowledging all this sadness and how shitty life can be (and is). This understanding of how much the world can ignore you is my salvation.