I Ain't Ever Gonna Understand

Some people...

Anyways Happy Christmas Eve. My life is nothing like what TV made me believe it was suppose to be like all those years. There is no huge tree next to a warm fire, no cliche milk and cookies. I think those traditions went under when we filed for bankruptcy. Did I mention that I hate the holidays? Yeah, I hate the holidays. It's not even limited to Thanksgiving to Christmas. Even Halloween sucks. The only one that's cool is St. Patrick's day, and that's just cause you can walk around drunk in the daylight and no one would judge you. I'm no Grinch, it's just my family was never and will never be close. It's like living with complete strangers, and we can't get over the initial awkwardness.

I'm envious of the loving families some are fortunate to have, If I were them, I'd make sure to cherish every single moment with them. Seriously, the closest relationships I have in this house are with my dog and my car.

Stay warm

-Jason

Rusty

I went to a vigil for my friend's grandfather. It got me thinking a lot about my own father. I have just recently learned how vulnerable we are to death, and tonight was a sort of harsh reminder of the pain that will come. The pain of it being my turn for me to bury a life-long mentor. Although, it was also a reminder of how a person can still bring us together and make us feel so many things from the coffin they lie in.

When it's my turn to lie in my coffin, I want people to smile, and I want them to laugh. I don't want tears, I can't bare the thought of making people cry, not even in my death. I want everyone to remember that I want to be celebrated and not mourned.

Do You Mind?

I almost hit a some freshmen kid today while I was driving my monstrously sized truck (oh yeah, my parents gave me the truck to serve as my commuter for now). Kids are really dumb, I mean who decides to run across the street when a truck 10x the size of them is smashing through the street?

Anyways I got my new camera, she's a beauty. I can't wait to shoot through my first roll tomorrow morning! Also my lighting comes in this friday, and the studio equipment will be here by next Monday, I'll finally be able to setup my home studio strobist kit. I just need to save up for an acceptable scanner and a MacBook Pro and my studio workspace will be complete. I guess I'm thankful I drive a monstrous sized truck, I'll be able to pack my kit and bring it with me to shoot with studio lights on location! I'm too stoked off photography, sometimes, I just now realized how badly this whole thing has hurt my wallet. But I don't really care about that, I'm so happy I'll be producing photos that I will actually like, which in turn will result in me posting more frequently.

I guess since this web address provides a certain degree of privacy, I will post here for updates frequently. I'm going to go drool over my camera, now.

-Later

Spiritual State

HYDEOUT records recently released Jun Seba's final album, Spiritual State. Seba's work has directly influenced my taste and standards in music; I am deeply appreciative and grateful to his music, much of I have grown very sentimental towards.

I remember finding out about his death, it was actually hearbreaking to know that such a creative artist had passed so soon in his life. He will always be remembered and celbrated through his music. For me, this album is an absolute must have.

RIP Jun Seba